In high school and college you will write
several essays that use the expository technique of Cause and Effect. A Cause and Effect technique may control an
entire essay or it may be part of an essay. For example, in an essay that discusses how heat
lightening works, part of the essay might explain the effects of heat
lightening. Similarly, if you were
writing a narrative about how you had to suddenly move back to the mainland,
your narrative might include why you had to move as well as some of the effects
this sudden move had upon you. Cause and
Effect analysis can stand alone or can be combined with other writing
patterns. It just depends upon the
purpose you are trying to achieve and your audience.
Sometimes Cause and Effect analyses include an explanation
of causal chains. In a causal chain, a
cause leads to an effect; that effect becomes a cause that leads to another
effect; then that effect becomes a cause, and so on. For example, if being tall made a person feel
awkward (effect); feeling awkward (cause) may have reduced their
self-confidence (effect); their reduced self-confidence (cause) may make it
hard for them to later make friends (effect).
After you choose your topic, be mindful of a couple
Fallacies (errors in logic).
1.) Oversimplification.
Most cause-and-effect relationships are complex, involving multiple
causes and effects. Failure to consider
important causes or effects is oversimplification.
Example: Violence against children is solely the result of
poverty and lack of education. While
this may be true, it does not take into account several other causal
relationships that lead to child abuse.
2.) Post hoc, ergo propter hoc, which means “after this,
therefore because of this” assumes that a later event was caused by an earlier
non-related event. Taken to extremes,
this error in logic can lead to superstitious thinking, like when a person sprains
their ankle after breaking a mirror. Certainly the act of breaking a mirror
could not contribute to spraining ones ankle.
That’s just silly thinking!
 |
| Cavemen Logic |
New Resources are posted for you on the webpage under Third Essay Assignment. There you will find a sample Cause and Effect essay. There are questions that follow this sample essay. Part of your response needs to comment on one of the questions and then post your essay. There is also a list of possible topics that includes a brief discussion on Cause and Effect essays. As noted before, you may choose your own topic, but please keep it PG-13. And this time I posted a couple graphic organizers that may help you.
Please read these resources. They are the fastest way for me to communicate content and for you to improve your writing.
WARNING: Sometimes postings can be lost while trying to post; therefore, create your essay in a word doc then copy/paste it into the posting section of this blog.
Assignment:
1.) Read the sample Cause and Effect essay. Think about possible answers to the four questions that follow the essay.
2.) Review the list of possible Cause and Effect essay. This file also has a brief discussion on Cause and Effect essays.
3.) Post your response which should include:
- A discussion on one of the four questions that follows the essay "Learning to Hate Mathematics" by Anne Miller. Then post . . .
- Your Cause and Effect essay that shows you thought about some of the rhetorical techniques that Anne Miller uses. Remember, rhetorical techniques have to do with the art of persuasion by using language in an aesthetically pleasing manner. This means I would like to see you include figurative language such as a metaphor, perhaps the use of a framing device where the introduction and conclusion has a common thread, the use of description and dialogue and so on. . .
- Finally, post your response to two classmates' essays. Please bump-up the quality of your responses to your peers. While these essays and your responses to your peers are credit/no credit, this is your opportunity to practice what you will be doing once the school year begins. So do not state a broad vague response such as, "I really liked your topic. That was really creative. I blah, blah, blah, blah." You need to get specific. Whenever you make a statement, you need to follow it up with a specific example and then explain why whatever you are noting is important. Or, you may have a discussion with the author. You could relate a similar incident that the author discusses or you could ask the author a question and explain to them why you would like to have an answer to this question. I will try to comment on some of the Classification essays in order to model this again for everyone. Please remember that while I do not respond or comment on everyone's essays, I do read them all. The essays are great but the commentary is weak.
DUE DATES:
Your Cause and Effect Essay with a discussion on one of the questions that follows the sample essay, "Learning to Hate Mathematics": Post By Friday, June 30th.
Your Comments on Two of your Peer's Essays: Post By Monday, July 1st.
Please be advised of the following:
- This is a Graded Assignment of Pass/Fail. No Rubric included; but nonsense writing will not receive credit--and this includes pointless comments to your peers such as: "I really liked your essay" or "I never knew how to change a tire before and now I know." You need to practice noticing details or the lack thereof. But make your comments supportive and meaningful; otherwise, don't comment and just lose part of the credit.
- Use Net Etiquette when responding to your peers, i.e., "Dear Kanoe" and "Sincerely Michael."
- Do not adhere to MLA format for your essay, meaning heading, spacing, font, and such; otherwise, your essay will take up too much room on the blog site. But give your essay a title.
- Include your name and the name of your Academy at the end of the essay.
- Most importantly: Have Fun! Writing should be fun and not painful. So find something that makes you want to share it with others. This way you will be able to do your best work and practice what makes a good writer: Someone who cares deeply and passionately about their subject. Once you care about your topic/subject, the rest of the essay becomes easy.
Taught to Love Exercising
ReplyDeleteI first started to to have a passion for exercising back in the third grade. Although, it never really became serious until about my freshman year in high school. Unlike homework and school work i actually really enjoyed exercising. It was really more then just fun for me. It kind of brings joy out of me. Not only is it enjoying, but it made my body feel better. Not sluggish and bloated all the time. Once i started to exercise i never really did stop. It just became more and more intense throughout the years.
The passion even grew stronger when I realized that exercising can become competitive. I love competing, and I also hate losing. So when i workout i always give my all. I would always try to beat the person next me. I also later learned that exercising gives great effects. Not only is it enjoyable, but its effective, for my mind, and body. So i realized this, if its healthy for me and fun, why stop? There is no reason to stop. So I never did.
As I grew older we got all of our friends together and we would play sports. Football, baseball, basketball, soccer, anything. We would also join teams, so this also had an effect on sportsmanship and team work. Exercising brings kids, and family together. It makes you, your friends, and family become one. Everything you will do together will become easier. You will be able to cooperate more, have less arguments, and have more fun.
After the past years I have been exercising I have always realized this. Exercising can always assure you a healthy and strong body. I would workout on a daily basis and I realized that I was becoming stronger and more healthy. I wouldn’t get sick as much, I wouldn’t have as much pains and aches, besides the over worked muscles, and i was a lot more happy throughout the days. I also noticed that working out had some other perks. Things such as careers, relationships, and friendships. So I started to chase these things, and throughout the years I have gotten a lot of friends through exercising. And i also see a lot of careers I am interested in that involve working out.
I am currently still working out and am on a program with a KPAL boxer. I still have a passion for exercising and compete on the varsity football and varsity baseball team for Kapaa High School. I probably will have have a passion somewhere in me for exercising, and plan on doing it until the day god doesn't let me walk. I am still as competitive as a wild animal fighting for food and plan to be forever. Exercising, I believe is a need for everyone in this lifetime.
Chaz Pacleb
Hopes Academy
Dear Chaz,
DeleteExercising always has a big thumbs up for being healthy. Being able to experience playing on the same team as you has showed me first hand that you are a very hard worker as well as a very athletic person. I hope you do well with that program with the KPAL boxer.
Sincerely,
Keisha Aki
Dear Chaz,
DeleteEveryones should know that Exercising is the best way to stay fit and healthy. After reading you essay it tells me that you are one athletic and active person that loves to stay fit and working hard towards your goals. Being active and energetic shows a lot about yourself. Great essay, I enjoyed reading it, keep up the good work!
Kristian Sablay
Dear Chaz,
DeleteYour essay felt very full, kind of like a mini book on how you began exercising to where you are now. I liked the friendly tone of your writing, and how you included your personal experiences. Good job!
Sincerely,
Autumn Begley
Dear Chaz,
DeleteYour topic on exercising was great for this essay because of how people can relate and even see how exercising changes people. Also, I liked how you use yourself as an example. Most people find other examples like famous people but using yourself was a great idea.
-Mason Schwarze
Response to question 4
DeleteI think the concluding paragraph was done well because She gave her point of view on math and how she hates it. It shows her journey on how she began to learn to hate math. She gave examples on her personal experiences, but she exaggerated a bit to much. Math actually isn't that bad
Why people exercise?
ReplyDeleteWhat come to your mind when you think of exercising? My best guess is that some people need to have a lot of determination to pull of such an activity. Some people are pretty much not as interested being involved in an activity. Somethings that people don’t look forward too when being in an activity is the pain afterward, exhaustion and a commitment to do what is required to move about with the activity. Although many people don’t enjoy exercising, some people dont know the importance of exercising, which takes a numerous amount of physical and mental abilities.
There are many reasons that influence others to change their look on exercising. People may need to exercise because of the way they look or seeing their body as a displeasing eyesore. People exercise because they want the need to feel great, be in shape and be as healthy as they can be. Another reason to exercise is to start to live a healthy life. It is important to take care of yourself healthy wise to maintain a better and more enjoyable life.
By exercising you can maintain a healthy and stable health. Doing physical activities can prevent a lot of things such as diseases from occurring. There are many diseases that are caused by a lack of exercise such as, obesity, heart diseases, or diabetes. These types of diseases are very dangerous and could cause the person to be extremely ill or lead to death. You can exercise stress , allowing you to live a stress free life. Being active can give you a healthier life to live.
Doing a physical activity can make people look great looking and feel amazing. By exercising daily a person could lose their body fat. A result of loosing body fat, a person could exercise their body to be well constructed and toned. Muscles get stronger giving the body a much more thinner look to the person’s eye. A properly toned body of a person gives the person a better picture and feeling about how the person body has been built. This will basically increase the person’s self esteem. Exercising more and seeing more result will give the person better relation and great attitude toward there newly built body. Some more results to a better and healthier life style would being able to fit into better and slimmer clothing, teeth and hair will be much more stronger, and your body posture will be better.
Exercising could help a lot of people! The best part of exercising is that it is fun! Exercising has many benefits: good health and a great body from the inside and out. Everyone should attempt to make habit of exercise at least 2-3 times a week. This will give you great benefits in a long run during your life.
Kristian Sablay
H.O.P.E.S academy
Response to Question #4:
DeleteIn the concluding paragraph, I think that her point given in her essay was not to counter but in a way to allow a less representation to her writing and how a woman has gone through with her dislike of the subject math. She gives out a very negative vibe though out her essay, although her conclusion did give a a much more positive conclusion that her previous paragraphs.
Dear kristian,
DeleteI liked you essay because of how full I felt it was. You had good details for each subtopic and a lot to talk about for each one. From reading your essay I can tell that you know what you're talking about which is always a plus
-Mason schwarze
Dear Kristian,
DeleteI liked how your essay had a lot of topics. You gave very good detail which is a plus. You gave a lot of true reasons why people do not like to exercise and I like that because i think people should just stop being a baby about that. I enjoyed reading your essay, great job
Chaz Pacleb
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteUnemployment.
ReplyDeleteIt’s hard to live a normal healthy life without a job and money. There are many reasons why people are unemployed, but in turn this state of unemployment can cause one to experience financial, emotional, and personal problems. The word itself has the implication for the majority of the public from the world’s great population are jobless; whether part of our people are living with no career or currently in the search for a career to afford a living. There are variations of reasons to why this situation occurs to a number of citizens in this globe.
One of the key reasons, which signify the cause of being unemployed, is lack of intelligence taken from past educational experience; this occurs through all educational timings. Many unemployed workers who tend to never obtain a job or a suitable career are due to their failed grades, which seem unappealing and unqualified for the job’s requirements. Within a certain extent, for one employee to apply for a job, one requires to have a high understanding basic knowledge.
Secondly, appalling common attitudes and behaviors. Which could cause one’s individual personality the situation of being hired or jobless. Having an inhospitable individualism could affect the employee’s surrounding environment. One’s individualism could cause as well as the result of the employer’s rejection. To create a sociable and pleasant atmosphere within an effective working environment, individualism is counted. This will be added up with other employees and if one does not unite with others, the entire environment will fracture and will produce unsuccessful results.
Of course, unemployment gives unappealing outcomes for those who live towards failure. Being unemployed would result a few possible effects. As an example, if one cannot work for a living, they receive low income to afford a living wage. This too may perhaps affect those who live in idleness, to have no effort to discover the world of work and to create a successful life.
As a final note, Unemployment affects people psychologically. Some people begin to develop a lack of self-esteem and confidence when a person becomes unemployed, his or her confidence reduces and many times leads to lack of interest. Stress can also become a major obstacle while someone is unemployed the problem with stress is that it can become proportional to the time of unemployment. Having bad health can begin and you can begin to have physical effects on the body. Some unemployed individuals have a tendency not to take care of their health while they are unemployed.
Amanda Thayer
Hopes Academy
Dear Amanda,
DeleteGood topic. Those reasons are so true. Very descriptive.
(Sorry my comment is lazy :P )
Sincerely,
Elise McDonald
Response to question 4
DeleteI feel the concluding paragraph contradicted the rest of the essay because, the author wrote the whole essay about why she grew up to hate math and in the conclusion decided to say she's actually fine with it. In my opinion, I think she should of stayed with one topic. If she wanted to write about why she hates math, then she should keep the conclusion to why she hates math. I think a different conclusion would have made the essay more reinforced and the conclusion would then be effective.
great cause and effect essay. You showed multiple causes and multiple effects, and made me feel pretty bad for unemployed people when usually I don't think about them much. Nice response to the sample essay too.
DeleteZuri
Response To Question #4
ReplyDeleteThe concluding paragraph was effective because her point in the rest of the essay was not contradicted, but was brought down to less exaggerative writing and how the woman dealt with her distaste of math. Her attitude was very negative throughout most of the essay except for the conclusion which gave a satirical side of the essay saying “I carry a calculator in my purse.” Her conclusion did only positive things to her essay.
The Effects of Illegal Music Downloading On the Music Industry
Music is and always has been a source of comfort, fun and personal expression since the beginning of music when cavemen beat on objects to make noise and blew on reeds to produce notes, music has been part of our lives. Because music has been important for us as a species, illegal downloading of a song that costs ninety-nine cents doesn’t seem like such a terrible thing.The effects of such downloading cost the music industry money but give artists more recognition.
Illegal music downloading is a very controversial issue because the music industry feels cut out of the profits that they deserve while the regular population has nothing against cheating the business out of a dollar. Though it doesn’t seem like illegal downloads do much, from 2004 to 2009, 30 billion songs have been downloaded illegally. Since 1999, the music industry has seen half of their profit disappear because of illegal downloads from 15 billion to 8 billion. This causes a major concern that leads to anti-piracy organizations such as the RIAA, SPA and NMPA. These anti-piracy organizations attempt to restrict piracy by reporting and taking down websites and apps on phones that promote or allow illegal music downloads. Though anti-piracy has vehement support from many lawmakers and businesses, it has been unsuccessful in stopping these downloads.
Though many people will tell you that illegal music downloading is completely wrong, there are some positive things in downloading. The more people that hear an artists music, the more people buy their merchandise and go to their concerts. This encourages artists to keep making songs that people enjoy. No artist has ever survived solely on purchases of their music. The effects of illegal music downloading on artists has been a blessing as well as a curse.
To conclude, the Music Industry had been greatly affected by illegal music downloading. Whether for better or for worse, downloading has revolutionized the music industry as well as books, television and movies.
Matthew Steinohrt Ideas Academy
Dear Matthew,
DeleteI really enjoyed reading your essay. I found it very interesting about how much music has been illegally downloaded since 1999. Great information on your 2nd, 3rd and concluding paragraphs. Great job! Can't wait to read your next essay.
Kristian Sablay
Dear Matthew,
DeleteI find it very interesting to know how much music was illegally downloaded. I had no idea there was that much. There was great and knowledgeable information throughout your essay. Great job!
Chaz Pacleb
Dear Matthew,
DeleteI liked how you mentioned the positive things to downloading instead of just the bad things. Illegal downloading of music is a big issue now and a good essay topic for this essay. Good job!
-Jenna :)
Dear Matthew,
DeleteI really did enjoy reading the first paragraph's thesis. Music is very soothing and warm in peoples' every day lives. Great job using Pathos!
-John
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteResponse to Question #3:
ReplyDeleteThe title “Learning to Hate Mathematics” helps support the authors purpose by allowing the readers to question the title by asking themselves “Is there really a way to learn how to hate math?”, which in my opinion is what the author wanted the reader to do. I believe the author wants the reader to believe that they aren’t the only one who hates math, but that she does too. I think her essay maybe to target the people who specifically hate math to help them.
Why do people eat junk food?
Chips, ice-cream, soda, candy bars, chocolate... Some of our favorite foods right? Junk food is very popular in America. The temptation of it is everywhere. Like when you’re standing in line for the register at the grocery store and the racks next to you are lined with candy bars, and chips... for cheap price too. So you think to yourself “Why not?” Or you venture into the cabinets looking for a snack when you’re not even hungry, just because you’re bored and something “sweet” sounds good to eat? People eat junk food for several reasons, some specifically are junk food is cheap, it makes us feel better, and its easy to access.
Like I said previously, junk food is cheap. You can see 50 cent candy bars, or $1.00 chips almost every place you go. Also there are fast food places that serve junk food are on almost every street corner it seems. Americas economy is in a hole, and Americans spend their money very frugally. So going out and spending five dollars on five burgers from Mcdonalds is a lot cheaper than spending ten dollars on salad items that only feeds enough for two. This is a problem that a lot of people face today, and families become split on what road to go on depending on their financial situation.
Cravings... the ultimate temptation. You know the kind of cravings when you feel as if you don’t fulfill them right away, you may just die? Well maybe not that dramatic, but some people feel like it. Then once you finally get what you have been craving you feel amazing. Food causes a chemical in the brain to go off when you’re eating called Dopamine. This chemical is a pleasure chemical. So basically when you eat it makes you feel good. The more you eat, the better it makes you feel. Then whenever you eat too much, your brain tells the Dopamine to shut off, so then you are feeling too full to the point where its almost painful.
Also said previously, junk food is super easy to access because its so widely spread. You can go to almost any store and buy something under the category of junk food. Almost any grocery store, gas station, and restaurant has junk food available for purchase.
Therefore those are some of the many reasons why people eat junk food. In my opinion eating healthy is worth all the money. Fruits and veggies are the original fast food, and it has several benefits for humans. But there are the moments that we all want a candy bar, or some ice-cream.
Myah Post
H.O.P.E.S Academy
Dear Myah,
DeleteEating healthy is definitely worth it! It's so true about people eating bad because of pricing. Even at McDonalds the burger is like 99 cents where as the salad is about 5 dollars! Any who, very good essay, good job!
Sincerely,
Elise McDonald :)
Dear Myah,
DeleteGreat essay! I loved the information you got about dopamine making you feel good when you eat. And its so true about junk food being fast and easy to get. But eating healthy is something more people need to realize that its worth it. Your essay was like an eye opener.
Dear Myah,
DeleteYour essay really flowed together and was easy to follow. The way you started your introduction really drew me in to your paper. Your causes were very clear and they were great points! Good work!
Sincerely,
Marissa Nikolas
Dear Myah,
DeleteFast food is really tempting! i loved the way you explained why fast food is so popular because of the low cost and how eating healthy is so hard to do because of the cost as well. You summed up this topic really well and i enjoyed reading it!
Sincerely,
Lauren Benson
Response to Question #4:
ReplyDeleteI think the concluding paragraph was effective because, it shows where the journey of learning to hate math has led to. It also helped the essay to feel complete like a conclusion should do. The shift in attitude that the author has at the end helped reinforce her points, in my opinion. I feel this way because, it showed that the events in her life actually taught her to hate math. But, in reality math isn’t actually that bad.
Chips, Cookies, and Cola
Did you know that every hour, the healthiness of the food we eat decreases by 1.7 percent? And that Americans consume 31 percent more packaged food than fresh food? In a seemingly health conscious society, these statistics are shocking to me. I remember being a young child and my mother telling me to eat all my vegetables, then I go over to my dad and he’s waiting with a bowl of ice cream for me. Junk food has always been a part of our lives, but why is it that most people would prefer a bag of Doritos rather than a bag of grapes? Well, I have a few ideas.
Everything about junk food is intoxicating, from the smell, to the creative designs that are on the packaging. Not to mention, that most junk food tastes like heaven just cried into your mouth! Healthy food on the other hand can sometimes be very bland and undesirable. As a little kid, the taste that these unhealthy snacks allowed was the only thing that would get me to do monotonous chores such as cleaning my room, or washing the dishes. Junk food is just plain ole’ good, and I believe that’s not going to change any time soon.
When I was in middle school I soon realized another reason why so many people eat junk food. I reached into my bag for the apple and orange that my mom kindly sliced and packed for me, only to realize that they were smashed, turning brown, and no longer appetizing. Luckily, I had a bag of chips as well, and although they were smashed they were still edible and delicious. This incident was proof enough to me that another benefit of junk food is, it stays fresh longer. Having to stay at school for about 6 hours Monday through Friday, knowing this benefit was very important to me.
Just when I thought I knew all the reasons people ate junk food, I soon discovered a few more during my few high school years. One thing about high school is, you’re always busy with either homework, or going to school sporting/club events. It’s almost a guarantee that you are going to get hungry eventually. That’s where junk food comes in handy. Not only is it economical if you’re running low on money like most teenagers, but it’s also conveniently packaged and made ready to eat. No preparation required!
Junk food is a big part of all of our lives whether we like it or not. Understanding why so many people turn to these tasty snacks, will help you to accept their lifestyle. And throughout my 16 year journey, I believe these are the main reasons that so many people eat junk food. It’s definitely not the healthiest choice out there, but don’t get me wrong, if I live to be 73 I will probably still sit down and enjoy a bowl of ice cream on a hot day. Bon appétit.
Autumn Begley
Hopes Academy
Dear Autumn,
DeleteI really enjoyed reading your essay! My mom also made me eat every last piece of my vegetables while on the other hand my dad would give me anything my sweet tooth desired. In addition, your facts really amazed me because I didn't know that the healthiness of our food decreases by 1.7% that really astonished me. I hope you keep up the great essays!
Sincerely,
Keisha Aki :)
Dear Autumn,
DeleteYour essay was great! I like the use of personal expericence as well as facts to prove a point. The words you used almost made me want to throw out all the junk food in my house. Anyway, your essay was really well thought-out and composed.
Sincerely,
Bryson Baligad
Response to Question 4
ReplyDeleteOverall I think the conclusion contradicted the rest of the essay. When I first read the essay it flowed well and the conclusion seemed fine, but after reviewing it I can’t help but feel that the conclusion contradicted the rest of the essay because of how it pretty much made the whole thing pointless. You read four paragraphs on how the author couldn’t stand mathematics only to find out that shes fine with them now and everything is okay. I think a better conclusion would have reinforced and given more meaning to the rest of the essay.
Practice Makes Perfect
People have been practicing things since the beginning of time. Over the years the saying “practice makes perfect” has become commonplace and that’s because everyone knows its true. If you want to get better at something you have to practice. If you think you’re just naturally gifted and don’t practice, other people will catch up to you in skill and eventually overcome you. Practice is essential for people who take things seriously.
Take, for example, professional athletes. NBA players have 2 ½ hours of official practice per day. Most players would likely shoot baskets or do some kind of practicing on their own time as well because they know how important practice is. Also keep in mind how much time they spend planning for the game and doing other basketball related activities and it is no surprise that they are so consistent and skilled. Other professionals display the importance of practice as well, archers on the US Olympic team practice 3 hours a day shooting targets and 2 hours a day weight training. Considering they practice 6 days a week that’s 35 hours of practicing weekly, as many hours as some people work in their everyday jobs.
Even at the high school and college level practicing is taken seriously. Most sports practice everyday Monday-Friday for an average of 2 hours. For practice to be cancelled even at extremely low levels like community sports for children is pretty rare and certainly not something you can count on. Most people know that high school is a little too late to jump into the more competitive sports if you don’t have experience and haven’t practiced in the past. Someone who comes out of nowhere and trys out for a varsity team probably wouldn’t stand a chance because they wouldn’t have as much experience as people who have been playing that sport for years.
There is no denying that practice makes perfect. Every activity regardless of whether it’s a sport or its physical requires practice. Practice is the sole reason that people become good at things, practice causes people to get better and it can apply to anything. If you want to be good at something you absolutely must put time into it.
Mason Schwarze
IDEAS
Dear Mason,
DeleteI really liked your second and third paragraph. Mixing in facts with your essay really improved it overall. I did not expect anyone to write an essay on how practice makes perfect but you did a good job. I really liked that your last sentence put a definitive line in the sand about practice making perfect.
-Matthew Steinohrt
Dear Mason,
DeleteLoved your essay! You're completely right about practice, and that those on top are there because they work to be there. It was great how you added facts about the NBA and olymics, and how much they practice, and how much work they put in to become perfect. I really liked how you put everything into perspective. Great job.
Mason,
DeleteI really liked your essay, everything was relayed so clearly and was very understandable!
Sincerely,
Kai Chase
My thoughts on the 4th question:
ReplyDeleteThe conclusion really contradicts the rest of the essay. It would be a good conclusion if the rest of her essay also talked about how she finds math useful. But the message I got from reading the introduction (and the body) was that she hated math and would prefer if it didn't exist, but then she has a newfound admiration toward it? I don't think so, girlfriend. You need to get your stuff together.
I want to snap my fingers for emphasis, but I can't.
Pressured to be Perfect
“Nobody’s perfect, but you have to be perfect in school.” That is basically what all hormonal people hear from every adult in their lives. It may not be worded exactly like that, but that’s what they’re saying. Adults tell teens that they can be whoever we want to be, but they also tell them to be the perfect child when it comes to education. Because adults pressure children to be star students, they are constantly stressed out, they sometimes resort to cheating on tests and assignments, and a few of them even give up on school altogether.
School is unnecessarily stressful as it is. School is full of people telling you that you can’t be who you want to be when you grow up. It’s full of people who assume your personality is awful based on your appearance. It also has tests. Tests are bad. All of these things give teens all sorts of boo-boos to the brain. Add in the nagging guardians and BAM! You’ve got stress cloud surrounding your poor, innocent mind. All this stress haunts teenagers every single day and it is all because the dream you need them to follow is to be above everyone else.
No matter what, it seems that everyone else is worry-free even though we all know that they’re not. Even so, it appears that they know more things than you do and do you know what that means? They get higher grades on tests! THAT means they have all the right answers. Teens think that means that it’ll be okay to cheat off of them. Adults see this as wrong, but they shouldn’t because at least those kids are getting the grades they were told to get.
Sometimes cheating isn’t even an option because even that takes out too much effort. Then the stress piles up higher than the clouds and eventually they see only one option: give up. There are kids dropping out of school because they saw no reason to try so hard for someone who doesn’t realize how much time and effort they put in for them. There are kids who give up because they’re tired of having to work so hard for something that they don’t want. There are too many adults pushing these kids over the edge. They push so far that they have no choice but to jump. Hell, 8300 kids jump everyday. That's a big number.
It’s awful that kids feel the need to stop trying anymore, but that’s what happens when they feel pressured to be the perfect child. Adults don’t realize that the pressure they put on the kids to be perfect is a waste of time because nobody’s perfect. But apparently kids have to be.
Erica Cabalona
IDEAS Academy
Dear Erica,
DeleteI really liked the topic of your essay and the points you said. I liked the fact that you added your personality to the essay, and I think you should continue to do so. Good essay, very interesting (and true) to read!
-Amanda
Dear Erica,
DeleteAn interesting topic to choose, it is most defiantly attention grabbing topic, considering your audience is a group of high schoolers. Although, it should also be factored in the essay that there are a few individuals who are simply inept at being accomplished, and thusly are at fault in the School department. Otherwise I think your essay is an interesting point of view work from a teenagers depiction of high school.
Sincerely, Ryemin Liddle
HOPES Academy
Learning How To Hate Math: Question #4 Response
ReplyDeleteI think the conclusion to this essay was very well written. Though it contradicted the rest of the essay. This made it a bit confusing to the reader because for the most part of the essay you were being drilled with the message that math could only carry negativity. Then in the last paragraph you are introduced to the thought that it might not be all that bad. This also confused me with the cause and effect part of the essay. Was she really trying to tell us that the effects of hating math only lasted so long? Overall I think the conclusion was ineffective with the message she was trying to convey.
Global Warming
Global Warming is a very controversial topic currently. Not only in the media but in the United Nations, U.S. politics and many other areas of focus. Many people have very strong opposing opinions on why its happening and some are adamant that it isn’t occurring at all. Though the proven scientific research that has been made available to the public so far one thing is certain. The global temperature is rising at an unhealthy and unnatural rate.
Global Warming isn’t something that popped out of the blue. It a problem that has been building for many years but had increased so drastically in the recent years that it is finally getting large amount of recognition and publicity. The cause of global warming that most people will tell you if you ever ask them the cause is increased carbon dioxide level in the atmosphere. This is true but is not the the sole answer. First of all the carbon dioxide levels in the atmosphere have contributed to a hole in the ozone layer of the atmosphere which help protect our lovely planet earth from many dangerous things in the universe. These rising carbon dioxide levels are also causing less of the heat from the sun that enters our atmosphere to be released back out into the universe. This is directly causing the temperatures around the globe to rise at very detrimental rates.
Now if temperature rising didn’t have any effects we could all just install air conditioning and have that be the end of all of our problems. But there are effects of the environment that are irreversible and deadly. First of all the increased heat is causing and prolonging droughts around the world. This causes us to deplete fresh water resources faster because they aren’t being replenished and we can’t use rainwater. Also many organisms were built to survive with these changing weather conditions. One very prominent example is the reduced population of frogs. With the drying weather and increased heat many species of frogs are becoming endangered and extinct. Frogs aren’t the only ones suffering. Many species in the Arctic Circle are seeing their habitats completely liquidate. All of these are just some of the extremely complex and negative effects of global warming.
Again global warming may be something that has brought up extreme controversy, but if you look at the scientific facts and set everything else aside it is pretty plain to see where we are going and what brought us here in the first place.
Wylie Barker
IDEAS
Dear Wylie,
DeleteI enjoyed your essay. The use of facts made it really convincing and strong. Your diction is great as always. Keep it up!
Bryson Baligad
Dear Wylie,
DeleteUsing global warming for your cause and effect essay was an interesting and unique choice. I enjoyed your essay not just for your writing ability, but for your opinion on global warming itself. I agree that "the global temperature is rising at an unhealthy and unnatural rate." I felt that though your conclusion was short, it was still effective. Good job.
-Matthew Steinohrt
Dear Wylie,
DeleteThis is by far one of my favorite essays on the site, mostly due to the controversial topic that you picked and the way you conveyed your opinion of the matter. Especially the comedic asides that you used to convey your feelings on the opposing side on the matter. Although if i wrote the essay i would have used a more empathy inspiring animal to get more readers on your side rather then a frog, such a polar bear. But to each their own I suppose.
Sincerely, Ryemin Liddle
HOPES Academy
Dear Wylie,
DeleteI really enjoyed reading your essay. You included just the right amount of facts which made your essay both strong and enjoyable to read!
Haylei Sheldon
Why School Hours are Useless
ReplyDeleteWe sit in a classroom all day being taught things we most likely don’t give a rat’s tooth about. So, is it worth it?
Though we are forced to go to school, we all know every second is worth it, right? Well in some cases that may be true, but really, it may be not. Now cut me some slack here I’m not saying school is worthless, but the time we spend may be. I have proof of this: (commence flashback) It was the beginning of tenth grade, and everyone’s schedules were messed up. After about two weeks of chaos and my classes being switched a hundred times, I wasn’t able to take health. So it looked like summer school for me. Well, that just wasn’t going to work because who wants to get out of school then have to go to more school? That’s right. No one. So this thought was washed away from my brain. (Fast forward two weeks before school ended) The counselor called me in and proceeded to remind me of the God-forbidden summer school. I told her this would be a problem because I couldn’t easily make it to the school during the break. She then said I could sign up for online health. Well the little snafu with that was I had to do it before school got out, in less than two weeks! I told her there was no way I could do all that work. She informed me that only the final test was counted from the online school. That led me, therefore, to the conclusion that much of what would be considered the traditional classroom work didn’t even matter! In the end, I just read the required chapters and a couple days later took the test. I passed with an A.
Given this was just health, and not a more challenging core subject, you can now see a fault in our educational system. Like I mentioned earlier, not every hour of school is worthless; if you believe that, you’re going to be taking a wonderful journey down the not so magical road of unemployment. However, I don’t think we have to spend an entire semester learning, for example, the volume of a pyramid. When we are just forced to spend hours in a classroom, we lose interest. When we lose interest, our grades drop, because we become disconnected with that which is happening in the classroom. Sometimes this lack of interest even leads to behavioral issues. So, when one kid has a question about a right angle, it doesn’t mean we all do. I think we should be able to work at our own pace. Like, if we finish an assignment we should be able to start the next one, so we’re not sitting around for the remaining hour of class.
In conclusion, since “The State” mandates a specified number of hours that students must spend in the classroom, shouldn’t some policy be created that enables students to get the most out of those hours? I mean, if we were all given more opportunity and support to be engaged in student-centered learning, it appears the effect of that could only be an increase in academic achievement and a decrease in negative behaviors.
Elise McDonald
IDEAS
Dear Elise,
DeleteI really enjoyed the topic of your essay. I liked how you added your on personal experiences. Also, i liked how you mentioned in the conclusion that the state makes us have so many hours of school, but shouldn't those house be used wisely. Anyway, great essay!
-Amanda
Dear Elise,
DeleteI really enjoyed how you based your essay on a personal experience. I also know what you are talking about because I had to take health in summer school the summer before sophmore year. Overall it was a really great essay!
~Myah Post
Dear Elise,
DeleteYour essay was very well written and you could really tell from the vocabulary you used and the way that you structured your essay that this was a topic you care deeply about. The use of a personal experience made your essay not only more interesting but also solid evidence since you didn't have any statistics. This is a topic that really engages your peers and you made god use of that fact throughout your essay.
Sincerely,
Wylie Barker
Dear Elise,
DeleteFirst of all I completely agree with your essay. I really enjoyed that you incorporated your own personal experience in the first paragraph. Overall all I thought it was really well written!
Haylei Sheldon
Question #4:
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion I think the conclusion helped tie the essay together. After all those years of the author hating math it showed the author why math was so important no matter what they wanted to do with their life. In fact the conclusion helped me see her attitude towards math after she understood that math wasn't so bad after all.
Fast Food
Throughout my years everything I did was based on time. The time I spent in the bathroom, on my video games, exercising, school, etc. These time consuming activities made finding a good meal hard to come by. Instead, like the average american, I go through a drive through or occasionally go to a restaurant when I’m too lazy to cook something. Let’s face it, we are spoiled americans that have that microwave action to where in about three minutes you can get a full meal. Even though you may be able to choose where to eat and what food to consume people still look for the drive throughs and restaurant that serves cheap and quick meals also known as fast food. Fast food restaurants like McDonalds serves you a mcdouble in maybe less than ten minutes for a measly dollar (plus tax).
Thinking back on all the sports related laziness I may have gone to a fast food restaurant every morning for a quick breakfast before a game and sometimes after for lunch.Think about all the time I would have wasted just to cook breakfast for myself and who would want cook their own lunch after you already depleted all of your energy into your game? The burgers and everything is pretty small that I can eat a couple and get my game face on without the fear of side pain. It’s like having everything in one place from breakfast, lunch, dinner, and dessert! In addition, the food comes in a neat wrapper! If you were to pack your breakfast you would need a container, then find a lid for the container.If your cabinets are anything like mine you might as well call your coach up and tell him you aren’t showing.
Without a doubt, my weight can tell you just how much I enjoy these fast foods. But after eating all these fattening foods it’s hard to maintain my weight. But with sports and exercise I know I can get my health back on track.You see if I wasn’t so lazy to make my own food I wouldn’t have made the decision to stay healthier and fitter. By being more healthier I will be able to make better decisions! Just remember. DON’T BE LAZY!
Keisha Aki
HOPES Academy
Dear Keisha,
DeleteI love reading your essays because they are always whimsical, and have a good flow to them. Your points were very solid and relatable. Also I liked how you included your own life experiences to help validate your points.
Sincerely,
Autumn Begley
Cramming For an Examination
ReplyDeleteThat queasy feeling in your stomach, the sweaty palms, those nervous thoughts that penetrate your mind when you walk into class, awaiting your score on a test you hardly studied for. A 52%. Your worst nightmares have come true. Most people know what I mean when I say “cramming doesn’t work.” Most, if not all students have experienced such anxiety. These awful feelings can only be caused by one thing; procrastination.
It all starts with the test. Your teacher informs the class that there will be an exam on the subject of study in a week. The first thought is “a week is seven days away! I’ve got plenty of time.” First big mistake. Some may think, “a week is gonna go by so fast, I should probably start studying now.” Those people are just pretending to be prepared. As soon as a new action movie comes out, as soon as a new episode of Duck Dynasty or Pretty Little Liars airs on tv, all focus on the exam suddenly fades away.
Next comes the days before the test. Everything goes fairly normal, like any other week of school. Your teacher is trying to prepare his/her student so they don’t completely fail the test. Everyday is a reminder “Test is on Friday”, “Don’t forget to study for the test!”
Every school day you remember to study for that test, and everyday after school the tv magically finds itself on your favorite channel. Its a cycle, until Friday rolls along.
Its the day of the test, and your frantically reading your notes. “Columbus discovered America in 1492... Wait I thought I had a math test?” Your hands are shaking and you can barely hold your pencil in your hand. You see the first problem and all you can think is “Why is the alphabet in my problem?” But 60 minutes drag by,and you’re done with the exam, knowing that you could have either done everything right, or everything wrong. No inbetween. “Oh no”, you say to yourself, “I’ll never watch another episode of Duck Dynasty ever again.”
Theres always a lesson to be learned from these kinds of experiences. “Never procrastinate.” “Always study for a test.” But my favorite is “Put down the remote. Your grades in high school are more important. You can find out who ‘A’ is later.”
Bryson Baligad
IDEAS
Dear Bryson,
DeleteI like the way you use quotes to include imagery in your writing that makes me feel like I'm back in AP history. As always when I read your essays I'm engaged and picturing myself brushing off studying for more entertaining things.
Sincerely,
Colby
Question #4
ReplyDeleteThe author's concluding paragraph effectively closes the essay because it wraps up all of the topics she discussed. The shift in attitude somewhyat reinforces her point that she made earlier in the essay because, now that she bought that book about mathematics, she is slowly learning more and more. Although, she still states how she can become sick is problems are thrwon at her.
Question #3
ReplyDeleteThe title of the essay supports the purpose because it makes you believe that there is truly a way to to learn to hate math. This supports her topic by the author using personal experience on how she learned to hate math. Thus I believe the audience of the would be just anyone in general the dislike math.
Effects of Stress on High School Students
From sweaty palms to stomach aches and, maybe even vomiting from time to time. Stress, everyone has it from time to time. Stress can be healthy but, when stress meets the teenage body and mind of a high school student it can become dangerous. Stress can also lead to destructiveness.
Stress can come from many things like, work, sports, family, friends, relationships and even, not-relationships. This is the start stress takes to enter one's life. At the start of stress most people will try to cope with it leading to the stress becoming worse. After some time the uneasy student will begin to be impatient. Now at this point with a person's stress level being above what it should be, even the thing that should upset this person can be overwhelming. By this time the little things will set off this unstable teen. This will continue until the problem that started the stress is resolved or in most cases the explosion. Caused from the hormones and stress the teenage students causes an emotional explosion. This can affect the teens life. From loss of friends to loss of confidence, which could lead to more dangerous things.
Stress is a part of everyone's’ life especially a high school student. The choices they choose to take is the differences between controlling stress or letting stress control your life. So there's different ways to start and different ways to end, each with its own way of consequence with the possibility of being positive of negative. But its up to you.
Dear Noah,
Deleteyour writing really conveyed a serious and foreboding emotion linked to the topic of stress. I'm glad I haven't gone through an "explosion" yet, or atleast i don't think i have? Maybe i just drop little hand grenades once a week because i am usually pretty stressed. This probably isn't good for us right? Physically, emotionally, or spiritually. I liked your examples of where stress can arise from; very true.
Love, Zuri
Response to question 4:
ReplyDeleteI felt that the concluding paragraph of “learning to hate math” was very effective in the way that it pulled the essay together, it supplied the fact that she still feared math but saw its use and purpose in the world. I feel in the end of the essay the author contradicts, and reinforces she reinforces her ‘fear’, while contradicting her hatred.
The Effects of Optimism and Being an Optimist
Optimism is a mental attitude or belief in which the onlooker has a tendency to view the more positive side of conditions and expect the most affirmative outcome. This meaning you tend to see the glass half full rather than half empty. Optimists everywhere believe that good pervades reality, they see hardships as ‘learning experiences’ rather than misfortunes. they thrive in positivity rather than dwelling in negativity as pessimists do. It has been proven that people who consider themselves optimists not only lead happier, but healthier lives.
Optimism has an extensive variety of mental and physical health benefits.
In general those who are perceived as optimists experience superior health, and increased longevity. As seen in a study of ninety-nine Harvard University students. Those who were optimists at age twenty-five were less likely to have certain diseases or develop certain diseases at the ages of forty-five and sixty. Similar occurrences were linked in a study of thirty-four healthy Hall of Fame baseball players who played between the years 1900 and 1950. Those who were optimists lived notably longer. Additional studies have shown that optimistic breast cancer patients had better health outcomes than pessimistic patients.
Optimists experience stable emotional health, greater achievement, and less stress. In clinically depressed patients, those that undergo twelve weeks of cognitive therapy (which rebuilds a person's mental thought processes to become more optimistic) worked better than drugs to relieve their depression. The changes that patients experience under this treatment are long-lasting and increase their ability to effectively handle future setbacks. Optimists are less prone and tend to endure less stress. Due to their belief in themselves, and their abilities optimists are able to reduce or even eliminate stressors along with their emotional consequences. They view negative events as minor setbacks, and positive one as evidence of additional positive events occurring in the future. This gives them the ability to push onward and strive for the greatest possible achievement.
“There is no tomorrow.” “I am a failure.” “I’ve done it now. there’s no turning back” “I’ve really mess up this time.” We all feel like this sometimes but in the end of it there is a tomorrow, there is going to be a second chance, a redemption. The sooner you realize that the better you will feel about yourself and the future, and the more productive you will become. There is more to being an optimist than simply putting on a smile in dark situations; its about making a healthy choice in a tough circumstance that ultimately is beneficial to you in the long run.
Emily Faretta
Ideas Academy
Dear Emily,
DeleteI really enjoy your writing style. The way it flows together in each paragraph. I also really like how you present the facts about Optimists. And the way that you show many different situations for an Optimist reaction. Overall really great essay!
Sincerely,
Myah Post
Dear Emily,
DeleteI really thought the way that you integrated scientific studies into your essay bolstered your argument. It really helped make you overall message seem more realistic. I also enjoyed the way you used common phrases to help explain your point and make it more relatable for the reader.
Sincerely,
Wylie Barker
Dear Emily,
DeleteGreat Essay! I loved that you used scientific studies as examples, they really helped validate your essay. Also, your conclusion really brought your whole essay together. I really love the way that you write your essays! (:
Sincerely,
Marissa Nikolas
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteGolf Attitudes:
ReplyDeleteA bad attitude, in golf leads to more missed fairways, more missed greens, and more missed putts. Golf isn’t a sport where you can take out your anger by swinging the bat harder, tackling someone, or sprinting harder. You need to keep your temper under control. A bad attitude can dig yourself deeper and deeper into a hole.
For me, a bad attitude can make a bad day compounded into an even worse day. The day before a big tournament, I can be playing really good, hitting the ball really good and putting really good. But when I go to the golf course the next day, it’s like I’m not even the same person playing the same game. I feel nervous because there are a lot of good people playing. So when I warm up on the range before going out I’m hitting the ball fat, thin, left, and right.
Of course this gets me frustrated because I want to do well, but I can’t do well if I’m hitting like that. Just like anyone else, I start taking my anger out by swinging harder and thinking less. But how can you figure out what’s wrong if you don’t take the time to figure it out? You can’t. Instead all I do is go more off target, make stupid decisions when I have no shot, and making things worse than they really are.
What if you’re playing with someone who annoys the crap out of you? They could be someone who you just don’t get along with, someone who plays really slow, someone who doesn’t know the rules, etc. Like when I played with this girl who may seem really sweet, but she was pretty annoying. She took two practice swings for every shot, making the round really slow, taking 5 hours and 15 minutes, which is about an hour longer than what a normal golf day should be. She didn’t know golf rules or golf etiquette. By the back nine I was over playing so I was rushing things, I just wanted to be done already. So because of that, I wasn’t taking my shots seriously, I wasn’t going through my routine anymore. For that reason, I played worse on the back nine, and lost the tournament.
A bad attitude can have many reasons, one result, and one solution. Having a good attitude can change the results dramatically. By keeping you’re cool, you can figure out why you are not hitting the ball the way you want, and actually start hitting it better. It may make the difference in what you shoot and how you place in a tournament. It could be the difference between first and second…
Naea Oda
Hopes Academy
Dear Naea,
DeleteI really like how you applied your message with real life examples that you can relate. The fact that you related it to yourself makes it easier for people to understand where you are coming from and easier for them to relate as well.
-Noelani Cassidy
HOPES
Dear Naea
DeleteJust like noe, I also like how you put your message with real life things. It made reading this essay much easier and enjoyable to read
Sincerely,
Camilla Vernon
H.O.P.E.S
Let’s Drink and Drive
ReplyDeleteDriving is a stepping stone from being a child to a young adult. Driving can be one of the best privileges but if you take it for granted it can be one of the worst. If the driver chooses to make unwise decisions, like drinking and driving, it can jeopardize not only the driver but others in the car and on the road as well. Also it injuries and blurry vision.
If you decide to drink and then go behind the wheel you won’t be able to drive well. Alcohol plays with your mind. Your vision gets blurry, you’re not too sure what are actually happening and you’re careless. That’s both scary and dangerous.
With all these effects from alcohol, you are at a very high risk of getting into a car accident. Which will come with minor and major injuries. Staring from a cut to being paralyze.
Not only does drinking and driving cause injuries, but it causes many deaths. In the U.S of the year 2010, 10,228 people have died due to being in a car with a drunken person or getting hit by a drunk driver. Getting into a car with a drunk driver or drinking and driving is a huge mistake. You are risking your life and could get in a serious injury or death. And it doesn’t only kill you, but your love ones too. Do not drink and drive. It is not worth it.
“Learning to hate Mathematics” by Anne Miller
The title “Learning to hate Mathematics” helps support the author’s message because it’s relevant to many and sarcastic as well. Her real purpose for this essay is not to convince the reader to hate math, but to learn to love it. Math may seem like just a bunch of random numbers that don’t mean anything, but actually math is everything. It’s in everything we see and do. I believe she is targeting young teens and students. This age group struggles with math because to many it seems pointless. This essays helps look into the reason why math is good.
Ariel Cummings
HOPES Academy
Causes and Effects of The Great Depression
ReplyDeleteThe Great Depression was, as i'm sure you know, a severe worldwide economic collapse that took place during the decade preceding World War II, although the timing that the effect had on nations varied from country to country. The effects of the great depression can be seen even today, with many referring to it as a stark example of how fast the world economical market can decline.
One of the most cited and known causes of the Great Depression is the stock market crash of 1929, and many consider this to be the beginning of the depression, although it is in no way the only factor that contributed to the economic collapse, however there is no arguing that the effects of this crash were devastating to both the economics and the morale of the American people in particular, the day the stock market crashed is referred to today as “Black Thursday”, the following monday there was another sudden drop and more investors were plunged into bankruptcy. Just as it seemed the economical situation could not become any worse, the following Tuesday the stock market crashed yet again, this day would come to be known as, fittingly enough, “Black Tuesday”.
Another well known cause of the Depression was the aptly named “Dust Bowl” natural disaster that was comprised of a period of severe dust storms that resulted in major ecological and agricultural devastation to both American and Canadian prairie lands during the 1930s, this resulted in thousands of homes being destroyed and hundreds of thousands of crops to wither and die, which of course resulted in unemployment rates and food shortage to rise exponentially. In 1935, many families were forced to leave their farms and travel to other areas seeking work because of the drought which had lasted for a period of four years at that time.
The effects of the Great Depression were long and far reaching, reaching every country in the modern world at that time, as the the Great Depression was and still is one of the longest depressions in the history of North America, between the time periods of 1929 through 1932 an average of 100,000 people lost their jobs every week until some thirteen million Americans were jobless. This concluded with a large increase in the homeless population as they continually lost their homes due to their inability to pay for them, at least one worker out of four wasn’t capable of finding a job at all in the environment presented to them. The economical effects were comprised of money continuing to lose its value, companies lost credibility and financial ability, and thusly crumbled, banks lose the public's trust, which only resulted in money being pulled out of them, resulting in their financial ruin. Social effects were things as basic as poverty increasing, to homelessness and orphanages filling up as parents gave their children away for a more secure food source. Employment was even worse, jobs were eliminated, and the few existing ones left paid far less and demanded longer hours. Morale was of course, the worst and far reaching of the effects, after all, there's a good reason why it’s called “The Great Depression”, suicide rates increased, patriotism declined and apathy increased.
The great industrial and economic slump continued throughout the 1930s despite the current president Hoover's efforts, Western capitalism continued to be shaken until president Roosevelt's reign. His presidency was defined by his combat of the great depression, he brought the hope of a "new deal" and the declaration that "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself." Through his presidency, Roosevelt was able to repair most of the far reaching effects of the great depression in America. Eventually, at the dawn of WWII, the great depression began to decline as the war helped stimulate the economic recovery of the world through industrial production. But the Great Depression is still considered one of the most far reaching events in world history.
Ryemin Liddle
HOPES Academy
"Learning to Hate Mathematics" By Anne Miller
ReplyDeleteQuestion #4: The conclusion at the end of the work was extremely contradictory to the previous tone of the essay, while it did present an interesting Aesop by saying that math does have a place in useful careers and as a tool. However, the way the last paragraph is worded makes me wonder if the only reason the first four paragraphs exist is to persuade the audience that she is similar to them, since I am almost certain this work was catered to a young adult audience in a math class, and uses the last paragraph to try and convince them of their predisposition of mathematics when they began reading the beginning of the work. The author did do an interesting job of reinforcing her dislike of the subject, while also stating its usefulness, nevertheless the Aesop is still broken by the hidden "Learning Experience" that the essay tries to give it's users, despite its effective way of going about it.
Ryemin Liddle
HOPES Academy
Response to Question 4:
ReplyDeleteI think that the conclusion to the essay is very effective, the previous paragraphs talk about how the author hated math growing up as a child in school, which many do. The conclusion moves into adulthood in which the author still dislikes math but understands it more since she has grown up. I think this is stated to the people that hate math as a kid just as she did, because the author is telling them that when she grew up she disliked it less just as they should.
Distractions
Distractions come in all shapes and sizes; they could be people or things. However, all distractions keep you from doing what you should be doing. If you need to make sure you do something, make sure that you will not be distracted by anything.
Distractions can affect many different things in your life. If you’re socializing with your friends and your sibling is distracting you, you don’t get to socialize with your friends. If you are driving down the road and you see people sign waving, it may be distracting and not let you focus on driving. Also if you are writing an essay and your friends are texting you, they would be distracting you and not let you finish your essay on time.
These distractions can be very detrimental to what you are doing. They keep you from doing the things that are important to you and your future. You may stop doing what you are doing to tend to these distractions. Say you were writing that essay and people were texting you, then you start texting those people and then a bunch of time goes by.
Then you don’t finish your essay and you’re not happy and regretting texting that person cause you wanted to do the essay but let yourself get distracted and now its overdue and you still aren’t done with it. You won't be very happy that you didn't get it done and you will wonder if letting yourself get distracted was worth not doing what you were supposed to be doing.
So don’t let anything distract you and turn off your cell phone because if you don’t, you may get distracted and do other things instead of the more important things. If you don’t let yourself get distracted you can create something awesome, or get something done quicker, or maybe do more things. Don’t get distracted by anything!
Jenna Stone
Ideas Academy
Dear Jenna,
DeleteYou really elaborated on the texting-instead-of-writing scenario. I'm guessing that was what was happening while you were trying to write this. If so, I give you props for taking your subject from something that was happening right in that moment. You also explained well the effects of letting yourself get distracted.
Sincerely,
Ruby
Response to Question 4
ReplyDeleteThe title of the essay captures the reader’s attention. It makes them believe that the author was taught to hate math, and even makes them wonder if it is possible for that to happen to themselves. In my opinion, the title conveys the author’s overall message of the essay.
Why People Shop Online
Why go to the mall when you can stay home and buy everything you need? If you have internet access, you also have access to tons of online stores. There are many reasons why the number of people who shop online is growing; its more convenient, provides a greater selection, and can save you money.
One of the reasons people use their computers to shop instead of going to a store is convenience. You can shop online at any place at any time. You don’t need to leave your home at all since your purchase gets delivered to you. It also saves you time by not having to drive to the store and back. Since you save time by not driving, you can visit more stores in less time. This makes it easier to compare prices to insure that you are getting the best deal. It’s also easier to find what you’re looking for online than it is to find in a crowded store.
Shopping online also provides a greater variety of products and stores. If something isn’t available at the store near you, you can go online to the stores website and buy the product. Online stores show everything that they offer where as an actual store can only sell what they currently have in stock. You can also shop at stores that aren’t available in your area. With more stores and products available, you’ll be sure to find exactly what you’re looking for!
The last reason that people shop online is to save money. If you don’t have to leave your house, you don’t need to spend money on gas. You can also save money by purchasing the product straight from the manufacturer instead of from a retailer. Retail stores have to mark up the prices on their products in order to make a profit, so if you buy it straight from the manufacturer, the price will be cheaper. You can even buy used items from websites like eBay, to save even more money.
To summarize, the popularity of shopping online is growing because of peoples need to save money and time and their desire to find what they want faster and easier. Over all, online shopping is more efficient than going to an actual store and is a lot more convenient.
Marissa Nikolas
HOPES Academy
Dear Marissa,
ReplyDeleteYou had a lot of information to back your essay, it was very informative. I also really liked your opening paragraph, which was very creative, it opened the essay very well. Great Job!
-Jenna :)
Response to question #4
ReplyDeleteI think the conclusion is effective because in the whole story shows how she didn’t like it when she was a kid. The conclusion then shows how she still doesn’t like it as an adult but is trying to understand it and learn more on her own time. It just proves that she still doesn’t like math as an adult.
Why People Exercise
America is obsessed with exercising and the perfect body. Magazines and television tell the public what they should look like, what is beautiful and who is attractive.
There are a multitude of reasons of why people exercise. Some do it purely for a this good body portrayed by the media. Others do it simply to be healthy. Lastly, some people exercise because they enjoy it. And many people do it for all of the above reasons.
Many people exercise because they want their body to look a certain way. Individuals are exposed to the media constantly. Television and magazines tell Americans what they should look like. Exercising is one way to be in shape. These people may hate exercise. They could dread the pain and commitment that comes with it, but they do it anyway to maintain a good figure because the media tells them this is how they should look.
Another reason people exercise is to be healthy. The health industry today is also a large motivator. To be a healthy person you need to be active daily. Exercise can help prevent diseases such a heart disease, or diabetes. These diseases can lead to a hard life and an early death. Exercise keeps the body healthy and fit. It is such an important part of life. Most individuals would agree that exercising is beneficial but it is not always easy to do.
Lastly, there are also the people who exercise simply because they love doing it. Exercise makes them feel great. It makes them feel healthy and alive. For many individuals it can be a drug or habit that they are obsessed with. It relieves stress and is a good outlet for anger. Exercise causes these people to feel good about themself and helps them live a healthy life.
The effects of exercising are always beneficial but what causes people to exercise can be different. Individuals are motivated by different reasons. Some people are motivated to exercise because society’s portrayal of what is beautiful is important to them. Other people exercise simply for good health. The last group exercises because they enjoy the way exercise makes them feel and the feeling of accomplishment.
Megan Devin
IDEAS Academy
Dear Megan,
DeleteI think you did a really good job explaining the different causes to exercise and the effects it has, instead of just addressing one of the reasons. You're conclusion was also effective in summing up the whole essay.
Sincerely,
Colby
Question #5
ReplyDeleteI believe the conclusion was effective because it reinforced the point how she hates math by saying that she still carries a calculator around and still gets queasy when she has to do a math problem. It is reinforced more when she has to buy a book about how to learn math when you hate it.
The effects of peer pressure
peer pressure is a global problem that has been around for ages. Peer pressure causes problems like drugs, crime, and injuries that usually lead to jail, death, and the hospital. Peer pressure is mostly found in teenagers, than adults, or middle aged, elderly people. It is found mostly in teenagers because teenagers feel like they need to be accepted in order to feel like their normal.
Spoken peer pressure is when a friend says directly to you “lets go drink, don't be a loser studying”. Spoken peer pressure puts kids on the spotlight with direct confrontation with a person or a group of kids. They are usually pressuring you to do something you are not supposed to be doing. when teens resort to this type of pressure it is hard to say no or find an excuse to do the right thing without being ridiculed.
Unspoken peer Pressure is when it seems like everyone else it doing something like dressing a certain way, or doing certain activities.It is similar to spoken peer pressure but the difference is that unspoken peer pressure is not directed specifically towards you but everyone. In songs for example, they can sing about how partying is so cool and if you’re not doing it then you’re a loser. This type of peer pressure can lower a kids self esteem and feel like they are not cool enough.
Yes, peer pressure is a problem in young teens, especially when they are in high school and they are trying to get good grades and go to a good college. But not all peer pressure is bad, it is mainly the friends or school groups you are with that influences you the most. If you are friends with people who listen to rock, then you would probably listen to rock too because your friends are listening to it. If your friends get good grades, then that will influence you to get good grades too. Peer pressure can either be a positive or negative experience.
Camilla Vernon
H.O.P.E.S
Question #1
ReplyDeleteThe author's introduction clearly establishes her purpose and the way she feels about her topic. Using the alphabet metaphor illustrates how the author enjoys and sees the importance in language but not numbers. When she refers to this metaphor again in the conclusion, she relates the numbers and signs in math to the alphabet and how they can both "tell stories and reveal secrets". The author seems to be a more artistic person who uses the metaphor to show how she values the importance and useful of a subject.
Surfing
When things start to pile up, you can feel it. There’s a math test tomorrow, you lost your phone, your car needs gas but you don’t have money, and you’re late for practice. You feel like you can’t think about anything other than the million little things already buzzing through your mind. The feeling of being too stressed is the absolute worst, and without a way to cope you might just break down to the point where you can’t handle even the smallest problems, so once I start to feel this way, I surf.
Surfing is my way to temporary alleviate the burdens of real life and take time to reflect on how good my life really is. Something about the ocean, the endless plains of reef surrounding you on all sides, the waves that come from such a far, vastly unexplored area, the underwater creatures all around you, the correlation of everything together takes me away from homework, chores, and my four o’clock soccer practice and leaves me in another world. There isn’t anything else that brings about the same feeling of contentment and pure enjoyment each and every time, and that’s something that is worth putting before chores that other people think is more important.
However nothing so good lasts for long, and in this case it comes at a price. Even after those two and a half hours in dreamland you still haven’t found your phone, that math test is now only twelve hours away, you wasted the last of your gas driving to the beach, and coach is going to make you run three extra laps tomorrow for missing practice. So maybe postponing the necessary duties wasn’t such a good idea in terms of actually accomplishing what needs to be done, and as a result you’re in even deeper into the pit you started in.
Colby Sargent
Ideas
Dear Colby,
DeleteI think you are the first person who commented on the question about the metaphor that repeats. While reading your response I was hoping you might add on the fact that this is an example of a framing device, where an element from the introduction appears within the conclusion. The definition of a framing device was highlighted within the blog posting. When we see authors purposely manipulate language in this manner, it gives us something to discuss in terms of what they are doing with language. And of course when we talk about what an author is "doing" with language, then we are talking about Rhetorical strategies.
The Rhetorical essay is one of the types of essays you will be writing for the AP exam. If you are able to remember this device—"Frame"—then your AP score will bump up. It is still okay to forget a term as long as you can recognize what an author is doing and be able to explain it in the manner that you explained it within your blog response.
I also wanted to let you know that I appreciated the fact that you embedded a framing device within your essay about Surfing. Good job. When you can imitate good writing, such as you just did, then your AP score will also be higher.
Very Nice Writing!
Ms. Carlson
Hopes Academy
Dear Colby,
DeleteYour style of writing is very detailed. The way you described surfing was inspiring. However I would suggest including more information about the effects of surfing.
Sincerely,
Ruby
Colby,
DeleteI loved this essay, it was so easy to read and relate to. You very efficiently used imagery as well.
Sincerely,
Kai Chase
Question #3
ReplyDeleteI think that her title helps support her purpose by because throughout the essay she talked about her first encounter with math all the way up to her final days with it. Throughout all those times, she really did "learn to hate math". She didnʻt just hate it right off the bat, it took a numerous amount of events (playing the game with her sister, her teacher keeping her after class, the frustration of not understanding WHY she had to learn the material)which all resulted in her hatred for it. Her audience or reader might be a struggling teen who was in the same position she was when she took math classes.
The Effects of Pressure on Students to get Good Grades
Ever since I was little, I canʻt remember having one conversation with my parents that didnʻt have the word school in it. I mean it made sense, both my parents were teachers and had very high academic expectations for me. However, that is not the case with every student. Perhaps a student strives to make good grades to compensate for her uneducated parents. Or maybe some students are just genuinely interested into getting a 4.0 GPA. Throughout my years at school, I have to say I have taken some deep measures in order to succeed and sometimes, I lose my mind doing it. I often ask myself why I lose my mind, get kind of lethargic, and generally approach school with some malaise. Then it hit me like a fastball at ninety miles per hour, I do it because of pressure.
Lately, pressure to get good grades has been the number one concern for me. It seems that this pressure has caused numerous side effects on my mental and physical being. Firstly, I noticed that whenever I have homework or a project due, it covers my mind like a storm cloud all day. Having that storm cloud effects me mentally because I tend to drift off during the rest of the day, trying to ignore the fact that I have to do three more hours of schoolwork after completing a full seven hour school day. I find my mind often boggled with the tiniest of details. This happens because I want to see a straight row of Aʻs on a sheet of paper at the end of the quarter! Should I really let that define my mental health?
In addition to the mental effects of pressure to get good grades, I also feel some of the physical effects. Whenever I have a lot of work, I tend to think about it; even dwell on it. Even if I donʻt do it, it still lingers in my mind. If I so happen to be thinking late at night (which most times is the case), I usually donʻt get my eight hours of sleep in. In other words, stressing out on grades can cause fatigue in its worst form. Because I am always busy, either at school, at my job, or at my desk doing homework, I donʻt have much time on my hands to make and eat “quality” meals. This has contributed to my poor diet. Speaking of time, since Iʻm determined to get good grades, Iʻve had to drop many of my interests. Some of these former interests include playing guitar, playing basketball, surfing, hanging out with friends and hiking. I miss all those hobbies. I am grateful for the time I have to enjoy these activities whenever I can.
Overall, pressure to get good grades can cause a lot of stress. However, I donʻt see how I really have a choice, considering I want to go to college and ultimately, move to Mexico and be a missionary for the Christian church. In the next year and a half, I know all the sleepless nights, poor diet, mental stress, and a lack of a social life will all lead to something bigger and better than pressure to get good grades.
Marina Mireles
Hopes
Why Teachers Determine a Student’s Success in High School
ReplyDeleteEveryone has had a completely unreasonable teacher who made their school year miserable and will go down in history as the worst teacher ever. Similarly, we have all had a teacher that we loved, whether it was because they didn’t give homework or because they were helpful and understanding. The way teachers teach has a huge effect on whether or not a student will succeed in school.
The curriculum a teacher teaches you is one part of this. If the work is too easy you will never learn anything, and next year when the classes are harder you won’t know what to do. On the other hand, if the teacher is trying to teach ninth graders calculus in an algebra class then their failure is almost guaranteed.
Success doesn’t only rely on what is being taught, however, but also how it’s taught. Lets say you are going back to school and on the first day your science teacher tells you to write a 5 page essay by the end of the week. “Blasphemy!” you would say. If you are caught up on this one assignment then you will have no time for other work. Your grades will start to fall and by mid-quarter you will look back and have one A and 6 D’s. Teachers who overload their students with work are bound to make them fail. If for some reason a teacher gives no work, the student will learn nothing and fail. There needs to be balance. A teacher who gives their pupils a reasonable workload and provides them with a safe, adequate learning environment could potentially guide students to success.
Students cannot always be solely responsible for the outcome of their high school career; teachers play a large role in a high schooler’s life as well. It is often thought otherwise which puts pressure on the students. The way a teacher teaches will, in the end, cause either the rise or downfall of at least one bright, young student.
^Ruby Hawthorne
ReplyDeleteIdeas Academy
The Effects of Riding a Dirt Bike With No Brakes.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was little, my friend got a dirt bike for Christmas. I thought it was absolutely the coolest thing ever! He let me try it and I immediately fell in love with the sport. I begged and begged my parents to let me get one, but they but they refused because it was “too dangerous and expensive.” My friend eventually moved to Rhode Island and took the bike with him. I never saw him again. And until the summer of freshman year, I barley touched a dirt bike because none of my other friends had them.
That summer, my other friend took me riding at the Waialua track. I absolutely fell in love with the sport once again. The speed, the excitement, the danger, all combined into one indescribable thrill. From then on I took every chance I got to ride that machine. Until I took my first major fall on August 18, 2013.
It was my little brother’s friend’s birthday party. We were up there just to drop off Noa. Leo (the kid who’s birthday it was) owns a lot of land and they built a little dirt bike track. Right when we were about to leave, they offered to let me ride. Obviously, I agreed. Since I had ridden before, I was riding a lot faster and more aggressive than my brothers. I was determined to clear the jump. First, though, I had to get used to the bike and the track. I rode the bike around a little just getting the feel for it and was going slow so I didn’t even bother to use the breaks. Finally, I knew I was used to the bike and the track enough, I decided to commit to clearing the jump. I slowed down to give my brother enough room ahead of me so I wouldn’t hit him on the landing. Then I set my line and gassed it. The take off was flawless. As I was in the air, I was getting ready to slow down right away for the sharp turn right after the jump. The moment I touched ground I pushed my brakes, but nothing happened.
The moment I realized that nothing happened when I pushed the brakes, I knew I was in deep trouble. In hindsight, I should have down shifted to slow myself down, but it all happened too fast to even think about other possible options. Anyways, I had too much speed to go around the turn, but I tried anyways. I couldn’t turn sharp enough and I went up and launched off the burm kind of sideways. When I landed, I was at an angle so I flew off my bike landing very hard directly on my shoulder and hip. When I pushed myself off the ground, my body was still in shock so I didn’t feel the pain in my right shoulder. By that time my dad was running over too make sure I was all right. I gave him the thumbs up telling him that I was ok, but as I was doing that, reality kicked in and I realized that my shoulder was really messed up. I gripped my shoulder tightly in pain and rubbed it up towards my neck. When I felt the bone sticking up about an inch (thankfully still in my skin) and knew something was very wrong. I told my dad I thought I broke my collarbone and we rushed to the hospital. They took a few x-rays and diagnosed me with only a separated shoulder joint (which is a lot better to have than a broken collarbone).
Dirt biking is one of those sports that you can never get enough of…until you fall. I don’t discourage anyone from trying the sport, just make sure that before you ride, every aspect of the bike works properly.
Kai Harrison
IDEAS
Why people eat junk food?
ReplyDeleteWhy do people eat junk food? There are so many reasons why people crave those crispy french fries, pints of Haagan Dazs, and of course those delicious cheezeits, you cant forget the cheezeits. Yet, even though these things are so bad for you, why do people still eat them?!
Time. Time is one of the biggest factors that play a role in why people choose to eat junk food. Imagine this, say you just came home from work and you had school earlier that day, but ended up getting homework in almost every class. Its 7:30, and you have to take a shower, eat dinner, plus complete the homework. Are you going to choose to make a nice, large salad? Or take the easy way out and heat up some orange chicken ? Suprisingly, most people would choose to heat up the orange chicken because it takes a third of your time rather than making a homemade salad.
Now time isn't the only reason why people eat junk food, Cost plays a huge role as well. Ever pass by the organic section in the grocery store and notice how high that food is priced compared to everything else? Well I know I do. People often tend to think, “ Now why would I want to pay $6 for a small healthy bag of chips when I could get one for twice the size, and half the price?”. Healthy and organic food hold there value because there good for you, hence the higher prices. Because a lot of junk food is so cheap people tend to choose that. That $2.99 bag of potato chips may be bad for your body, but when its that cheap your only really thinking is “ What the heck, cant beat that price”.
Now let me ask, whenever you had a bad day at school, work, or who knows maybe your just feeling down, do you ever go to food as a solution to your problem? If the answer is yes, don't feel ashamed, because I can guarantee you that 99% of your peers have the same answer. Why yes, Comfort food! The food that often makes you feel a little better when you had a bad day. When you're feeling sad you're not going to go get a carrot to eat, no. You're going to go straight for that pint of green tea ice cream, oh man that's the good stuff. All junk foods contain an unnecessary amount of fat in them. Fat gives you almost immediate satisfaction, and creates a full affect faster. Your body needs fat to survive, but not the bad kind of fat that's added to all this junk food. As sugar exits the body quickly, fat lingers, making you yet again hungry and craving the same junk food.
When it comes to why people eat junk food, there really isn't an exact answer as you can see. Whether its the cost, the time, or the craving, there are ways to alter to your diet to cut out the bad food. Now next time you come home late I want you to think about your choices, what do you want to do, make the salad or heat up some orange chicken?
Haylei Sheldon
IDEAS
Ok cause sneaking out, effects many. Sneaking out is one of the many things teenagers are known for so it’s obvious to why I am using this as the topic for my cause and effect essay. So sneaking out something that teens have been doing since like ever. The usual sneaking out past curfew,date with boy/girl your parents won’t approve of, rebellion, movies,drinking, and so many more reasons.
ReplyDeleteLet’s start with sneaking out past curfew. First effect is that you are stupid for sneaking out because thing can go wrong. Also you can have school the next day and so you’ll wake up tired depending on how late you came in. You could have have test the next day and because you snuck out you never studied and so you will fail. Now sneaking out to go on a date with a boy/girl your parents disapprove. Third effect you could be getting lead on by that person. Another is heartbreak that everyone has and will go through at least once in your lifetimes. Rebellion a stage most or every teen has gone through will lead to little trust between you and your parents/guardians.
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Kassandra Iloreta I.D.E.A.S Academy
Why do Countries Go to War?
ReplyDeleteOver the centuries, even millenniums, countries have been warring with their neighbors. Why do they do this? Can they not always solve their problems peacefully? Many reasons cause nations to go to war with each other. One reason is first of all religious belief. Another reason could be the unearthing of resources in a disputed area. A final reason for a conflict between two or more populaces is land and territorial expansion.
If a nation strikes war upon another nation under the justification of religion, they obviously believe different things. For instance, in the crusades, the Catholic majority in Europe went to war with the Muslims in Israel for the sake of the city of Jerusalem. Although this war may fall into the category of territory gain, it relies more on religion because Jerusalem is the said birthplace of Jesus for Christianity. For Islam, it is one of the sacred cities of Muhammad’s sacred pilgrimages.
Another cause of war between countries is the advent of necessary resources. Let’s say a kingdom runs out of iron. If the next kingdom over has countless iron dumps in its hillsides, an invasion is in order. It is human instinct to have jealousy, or to want what someone else has. This could also apply to countries that want the castle or capitol location of a neighboring nation. If a nearby village has great things, Mr. King will surely not think twice about pillaging it.
The final definite cause for war is the colonizing of new territories within newly discovered lands. Upon the discovery of the Americas, many countries rose to conquer it. Such countries were Portugal, Spain, France, Britain, and etcetera. People of these countries expanded outward into this new world for many reasons, being wealth, oppression, or wanting to start a new life.
John Quinlan IDEAS
Response to Question #4
DeleteI'd say that the concluding paragraph is not very effective. It seemed to contradict everything that she complained about earlier in the story regarding learning about math.
Answer to question #4
ReplyDeleteThe conclusion was the weakened the overall argument of the essay. For the first four paragraphs we read about how and why she hates mathematics. Then in the conclusion she takes it all back. She introduces a new idea in the conclusion which is a big no no. That is why the conclusion is no effective.
Why I listen to music when I do homework
If you have ever done homework, like writing an essay or taking notes you know it can be a very mundane task. You will also know that sometimes you get distracted by very little and can’t actually get anything done.. Overall you know that homework of any kind can be rather tedious. Sometimes I would do things like chores to get out of doing homework! I was in trouble, I was getting bad grades for not turning work in on time. But In 8th grade I discovered that if I listened to music I could tolerate doing homework for much longer. I was even able to finish a little faster.
There was a dramatic change in my work. not only was I turning work in on time but it was better quality. I went from getting C’s in history to straight A’s I even won an award from my teacher at the end of the year. In English I wrote all my essays and turned them in on time! I did my math homework easily while listening to music. Halfway through my 8th grade year at Saint Catherine I was able to turn my grades around. I went from having mostly B’s to mostly A’s. So I kept listening to music while I do homework.
In 10th grade I took AP History and we had notes everyday. I hated it, it was the most dull and repetitive thing I had ever had to do. But then I remembered the trick that I learned in 8th grade. Again my work improved, I was able to turn notes in and not get weeks behind like some people in my class. It was still very drab, but bearable. In that same class we were given almost weekly essays. I didn't write all of the essays whilst listening to music, but I did notice that I got better grades on them when I did.
I have seen dramatic improvement in my grades every time I have listened to music then from when I don’t. I am also in a much better mood when I am able do my homework while listening to music. So I have decided that for the rest of my academic career I will be listening to music as much as I can when I do my homework. Music has saved me many times when I have been stuck barely completing my homework.
Victor Sanchez
IDEAS
Drinking, there are many causes to drinking, a lot of which relate to making people feel better about their selves. Ultimately the effect of this usually isn't good. Now some people drink alcohol to have a good time, you know become a little more care-free, more open to people, and of course a little more full of “life”. There are also people, especially teens, who just have a genuine curiosity about drinking.
ReplyDeleteTo get a little deeper there are some, what I consider serious reasons people drink. Some people have a hard time at home, weather your parents care to much, or don’t care enough, both can be causes of wanting to drink. Some people may not recognize this, but just like adults, teenagers can be battling stress or even depression which is a major cause to going out and wanting to get wasted on the weekends. This to me is when a person wants to drink to forget the problems they face. Peer pressure is another, and sometimes people aren't even aware of it. When you see everyone else having the time of their lives and YOLO-ing it, you definitely are going to want to do the same.
These causes are serious reasons for drinking, and in this day and age, it’s become so socially acceptable for people to drink on a regular basis. There are consequences though, the simple ones are getting grounded and not getting to the Prom with that cute athlete. Then we have the socially embarrassing effects of drinking, whether it be walking around like a fool all night, or doing something you’ll regret the next morning. All of these consequences seem brutal enough but the worst involves what you can do to yourselves and others. When we drink, we can eventually lose control leading to the death of ourselves or someone else. I believe this to be true in almost all aspects of life, “everything that kills us makes us feel alive”.
HOPES
Mo'orea Rohlfs
Sunburn
ReplyDeleteSeared skin- a sweaty, sweltering, crimson catastrophe of cauterized flesh. You may come across lobster-ized tourists through out your day and think "GOD! How did they DO that to them selves???", or even worse, find them scorching on the beach and ache with a purple passion to warn them "Run for cover! Find a tree, umbrella, ANYTHING! You're totally frying!!!"... Maybe you are even the person who always gets sunburned? There are many reasons a person may take on this ruby glow.
Sometimes you forget to put on your sunscreen. Your rushing to get ready, get to the beach, and don't remember until its much too late that you've forgotten an essential lotion. This is always a heart breaking discovery for myself, especially if there are no white people around I can ask to borrow some from. Other times, the waves are so freaking fun- or what ever you are doing out under the clear shining sky- that you refuse to take a break to reapply your cream. Maybe it is cloudy so you think an unprotected beach day could do you no harm- these days are often quite damaging! Cloudy, but deadly.
In all of these cases, and many more, the painful reality that consequently comes is the dreaded sunburn. Trying to fall asleep can become a living nightmare- getting dressed, torturous. Sitting in class, being hugged, scratching you leg, bumping into a door- ANYTHING- can make you cringe with the return of that sore achey throb. If you have ever rocked cornrows for a few days in sunny whether, you might know the agony of running a brush over those tender slivers of singed skin.
Luckily, almost everything heals over time. Even though you may be gawked at, made fun of, or slapped right on your red neck, within a few days the condition should begin to fade in color and irritation. To catalyze the healing process aloe vera, vitamin E, and lotion can be used. If your lucky the burn could even transform into a nice tan, luckier still if it doesn't peel, leaving you a patchy mess, afterwards.
Almost everyone experiences sunburn in their life, caused by all sorts of situations. The effects can be highly devastating, so do your best to wear lots of sun screen, but most importantly, if you are risking lobster-izing the only skin you've got- make sure it's 100% worth it!
Anne Miller's title "Learning to Hate Mathematics" supports her purpose of reaching and being relate-able to contrary math students. It makes you think the essay will be all about the horrors of math, which it primarily is, and easily win over people with an aversion to the subject. However, she finishes the writing contradicting all her previous statements. In the conclusion she totally revokes how pointless math had been to her before, in affect creating a feeling of hope for her anti-math readers.
IDEAS
Zuri Shanklin
Learning To Love P.E
ReplyDeleteIn the beginning of ninth grade I hated P.E. I got to sweaty, I would stink just before my last class, it was dreadful. And that wasn’t even the worst part. The runs we had to do were killers. I know what we ran was cake to others but to me it was hell. I could never ever keep up with anybody, being the last one all the time. So, yeah. You could say that I really hated P.E.
Though, half way through P.E I looked at myself in the mirror and said “ Look at you. I do not know why you hate P.E so much. Look at yourself. You stay inside all day playing video games and eating chips. Use this P.E to your advantage. It’s a scheduled workout plan, so do it”.
So I did. Gradually I pushed myself every day at P.E and soon my mentality changed about it. Every day walking in to P.E not hating it, but loving it. Since the start of P.E my mile run took nearly thirteen minutes. By the time P.E was done, my mile time dropped to nine minutes flat. And that was not the only thing that happened. My body fat weight dropped from the twenty two kgs of fat to sixteen. Just the fact that changed my thinking of P.E helped me in more than one way. It got me to lose all the fat I had on my body since middle school and it got me to get more physically active outside of school. So I guess you could say that I learned to love P.E.
Shizuo Santos
HOPES
The Gulf oil Spill
ReplyDeleteOK OK i know that this is old but it's still a good subject. When oil spilled out of an offshore BP drill many were affected. In this essay i'm going to talk about the causes and effects of this catastrophe.
The cause of the BP oil spill was because of a multitude of reasons. The most prevalent one being that when drilling for offshore oil it's main pipe broke spilling millions of gallons of oil into the gulf sea.
Another cause that caused the pipe to break was human error. It was discovered that codes and regulations aboard the drill were extremely out of date. Who's fault this is is unknown but the fact remains that it is a great cause of the spill.
An effect that happened because of the spill was marine life dying. The spill poisened the water killing not only undersea critters but damaging birds wings and predators food supplies. It also killed a large amount of corals and sea plants that have not fully recovered yet.
Another effect was thousands of people losing jobs. Because of the spill fish and shrimp hauls were poisoned and downsized considerably. This caused many in places such as Louisiana to have to shut down shops and stores completely putting people out of jobs and homes. This in turn caused a shortage of shrimp and some fish.
The final effect was actually on BP itself. Because of the damage they caused large damages were owed and BP wrote thousands of checks losing a size able amount of money. They also were discredited and lost hundreds of customers to this large fiasco.
So was it worth it for BP to not update codes and regulations. Hell No! The only thing we can hope to gain from this travesty is insight into the future of renewable resources and a brighter tomorrow.
Mikel Keeler-Howarth
IDEAS acaddemy
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteHave you ever had one of those nights where you just CAN'T sleep? Well, join me in my struggles while I unfold you the story of my peculiar dilemma. While traveling over the summer, I visited a few different parts of the world, filled with exotic views and unforgettable memories. I had the best of time and everything was picture perfect. Unfortunately, school was calling my name and so home I returned. After a brutal thirty six hours (yes, I'm not exaggerating) of plane rides, layovers, and bus rides I finally arrived. To say that I was exhausted was the ultimate understatement of the year. So I unpacked my belongings and showered like a lightning bolt because all I could think about was jumping on my bed and sinking my head into one of my pillows, dreaming of sweet fluffy clouds. That is until I just laid there for four hours.
ReplyDeleteWaking up early the next day was a challenge I was prepared to dominate; I got up at six to adjust my body's sense of time. However, resuming the next day with only three hours of sleep was ironically a nightmare. Keeping track of all the stuff I was doing confused the heck out of me. First off, when I went to go look at myself in the mirror a gargantuan pimple grew like an oozing volcano out of my face. It was incredible how determined I was to stay up (even though my eyes were forcing shut the each time I blinked). Nothing was clear, in fact everything was vague. My senses were weakened as if they did not function. Because of my lack of sleep, my vision was foggy, my balance was similar to that of a drunken man, my taste buds made each flavor of food in my mouth seem like sandy cardboard, and so on, and so on…
That afternoon, my friend called and was insisting for me to drop off the souvenirs that I bought. But of course that meant that I had to drive. I was definitely not prepared for that task but like I said previously, my friend was insisting. Because of my lack of sleep, my focus was not that sharp. And we can assume what happened next.
Night fell, and I dreaded staying up. So right away I hopped on the shower, took a nice warm bath, and dressed myself with my cozy clothes. While brushing my teeth, my eyes leisurely locked tight but was woken up by a roaring crash of water dripping on the sink. Finally, It’s approximately eight thirty and I was finally ready to resume the rest of my three hours worth of sleep. I adjusted my fan to a speed of two, let my blanket envelop me, and pillows cover my body. Sleep awaited me… five hours later...
Reply to Q #4
While the writer continued to pursue her dislike of math. She ultimately comes a conclusion that it isn't all that bad. Which contradicts her argument to begin with. This form of writing would normally be rejected in the "good" writing community. She should have stuck with her rant/satire form of writing.
Response to Question #4(Learning to Hate Mathematics):
ReplyDeleteI really thought it was interesting how she described the way that just the thought of math can make her stomach ache. She relayed how math still affects her today and has had a lasting, negative effect on her life. This paragraph helps to convey the fact that while she is learning to appreciate math, she still has feelings of displeasure towards the subject. I think that the slight contrast shows how much she really hated math, even to this very day.
Stress Mess
Parents think high school is SO easy. If they only had any idea how much stress a high schooler goes through. Stress in general really affects pretty much everyone. There are many levels of stress. Depending on how bad the stress is, many reactions can come about. Teens are one group that really takes the brunt of stress these days.
Stress can come from all different places. One is Global Stress. This is stuff that is totally out of your control and you can’t do anything about. This is somewhat rare, but can be absolutely devastating. Examples of this could be a natural disaster, such as a hurricane or tsunami. Another example could be the death of a friend/acquaintance. Either of these are extreme examples and could lead to extreme depression. This may also lead to other problems. On the other hand, this can also help someone become a stronger person.
Another place is Community Stress. This is events close to you cause stress. This can be a plethora of things. It could be an overload of things to do, such as various projects due along with a sports or club activity. It can also be the attitude of someone you know (Friend/Peer/Neighbor). If the person begins to treat you differently, it has the potential to cause stress for you. This stress can produce either a negative OR positive response. It really depends if you are the person who thrives on pressure or has the determination to persevere.
The last place is the most vital in high school: Internal Stress. This is the pressure you place upon yourself. This is encountered often, especially during high school. All kids want to be the best at what they do, and that puts pressure on themselves This can be not thinking you’re good enough. This could also be wanting to accomplish something that needs to be done. A lot of the times this leads to a positive response, with the stress leading to an increase in adrenaline. If the response does turn out negative, the effects can be alarming. This management of internal stress is one of the most important parts of high school.
At the end of the day, stress is a part of everyone’s life. It’s how you deal with it that is indicative of the person that you are. We all have to deal with stress. It may seem like too much at times, but it’s not impossible.
Paul Oyama
HOPES Academy
2. In Anne Miller’s essay she uses a very effective cause and effect structure to relay her point to the reader. She uses multiple causes to get to the effect and then further continues to use that effect to get to her final cause and effect. Miller uses cause to like having to stand in front of the class and recite times table problems, this led to the over all effect of hating math. Millers hatred of math drove her to buy the book(effect) “Mathematics for People Who Hate Math.” I personally really liked the way she conveyed her writing, it was very easily understandable and the cause and effect was very clear.
ReplyDeleteThe Effects on Students Caused by Future Ambitions
Do you ever worry about the future? Worry that your grades are not adequate to get in to the college you need to attend, to get the degree that you need, to get a job in the career that you wish to pursue? Yes, well you and almost every college bound child in the world! Ever since I was little I was told to push my self in school because in the long run it will all be worth it.
From a young age I strove to push my self to really get the most out of my lessons, and apply them to life. I really tried to stack up my knowledge in to a large building block which would be the base of my schooling. I took school very seriously all through elementary but, its importance did not fully hit me until I was in the seventh grade when I had to fill out a questionnaire on what career path I would possibly take. Right then, it occurred to me that in a few years my grades would actually be counting toward my future.
I am now so thankful for that building block I have created for my self and that I am continuing to create not only in book knowledge but life knowledge as well. Because of the strong foundation and ethics I have created for my self I continue to push my self academically, by taking advanced classes, putting in that extra studying time and really paying attention in class. I am currently on the path to becoming a college student hopefully a successful one at that. If I continue the way that I am heading I will get the grades needed, to get in to the college I need to attend, to get the degree that I need, to get a job in the career I wish to pursue.
All and all, my wish to be able to get in to the career I want and have the life I wish to live, constantly causes me to keep up in school and try my hardest. This will hopefully bring me full circle to the effect I wish to receive, for it to pay off and be worth it in the long run.
Sincerely,
Kai Chase
IDEAS
Peer Pressure
ReplyDeleteEveryone is a teenager at some point in their lives. A teenager who talks back to their parents, listens to music a little bit too loud, and maybe, sometimes, gives into peer pressure.
You are a teenager walking through the halls in your high school. Many faces pass by you that you are familiar with. These are your peers. You may be acquainted with them, or you may not even know their name. Regardless of your relationship one of those many faces has either succumbed to peer pressure, or pressured a peer themselves. There is, of course, negative peer pressure. This could be a familiar face trying to persuade you that drugs aren’t bad they’re good and you should totally try it with them. As well as when you are out at a party and someone offers you a drink. You may say no but after some teasing such as “oh c’mon don’t be a goody two-shoes, live a little”, you may give in. You may take that drink, or do those drugs, while simultaneously giving in to peer pressure.
Peer pressure can affect people in various different ways. It can affect people emotionally, and sometimes, physically. If an individual is pressured to do that drug they are putting themselves in a vulnerable situation. They have given in to peer pressure once so who’s to say they won’t do it again? They are now forced to do something they wouldn’t normally do, just so they can fit in with a certain crowd or because it’s “cool”. Being pressured into doing something could ultimately lead to that individual try a drug more than once which could lead to an addiction; going to a party once and drinking then drinking all the time; or even stealing once to stealing all the time. All of these alter that individual emotionally by making them vulnerable or afraid of their peers and what they think, and physically by actually having the possibility to harming that persons body either with drugs or alcohol.
Peer pressure is focused on as a type of bullying, as it should be. People across the globe are being pressured into doing something they don’t really want to just to be in with certain people or because they were belittled by someone. Great and damaging effects are caused to people due to peer pressure, and many bad things come out of it. So don’t be the victim and don’t be the cause.
Malia Hickey
IDEAS
2. Anne Miller’s essay uses many ways to make her point through cause and effects. With many causes, she gets to an effect, and later uses that effect to lead into a new cause. Just like a domino. Anne Miller uses her cause as standing in front of the classroom and reciting the times table problems, which led to her effect of hating math. Because she hated math, she bought a book titled “Mathematics For People Who Hate Math.” In her essay, the author made her cause and effect really easy to identify, which is why I liked it.
ReplyDeleteBullying
Throughout our lives, there’s been a time when we’ve bullied someone, and been bullied by someone. It doesn’t matter what age we are, because we’re always going to have to encounter with those kinds of people. However, I’ve noticed that most of us deal with this situation during adolescence.
Little do people know that it only takes one comment to destroy someone. Do you think that the bully even thinks about what might happen if they were to tease, or put someone down like that? Probably not. Most people say that bullies bully because they’re jealous, or because they feel like it’s the only way they could deal with another problem. Let’s say that you’re the bully in this situation, and you don’t feel comfortable with the way you look. You call another girl fat because it makes you feel better. Do you think about what that comment does to her? No. This little remark that you made has now caused her to lose self-confidence, because you started the whole school to call her the same. Do you even think of her limits? What if she had more things going wrong within her life, not only this school bullying? What people don’t know is that one little comment could be the death of someone. That comment could’ve been the last she could take before she broke down.
In that scenerio, the cause was your insecurities. This effected in you calling another person fat, causing them to lose their confidence, which effected her into killing herself. Which is why I don’t understand our society. We built this picture in our heads of skinny with nice hair being perfect, making us only notice our flaws.
Anyways, bullying can cause some really bad effects. There are causes and effects in almost every situation that we come across in life. It’s like a domino, “what goes around, comes around”, known as karma, whatever you want to call it. In other words, for every action, there’s another that comes with it.
Sincerely,
Hazel Jarquio
HOPES
Dear Hazel,
DeleteI think you did a really good job elaborating on the effects of bullying. Your essay was written well and very understandable. And I really liked your concluding paragraph about karma. Good job!
Sincerely,
Aaryn Gray
IDEAS
The causes and effects of stress on a high school student.
ReplyDeleteStressed out, overwhelmed frustrated, these words are often used to describe teens these days. As we all know high school students all over the world deal with stress every day. Not only do high school students face stress in school but in our personal lives too. I hate the feeling of stress; however stress can be a good thing to some students. There are many reasons why many high school students stress out.
I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t stress. As a high school student, stress always finds me. One of the main reasons I stress out is school related. Today, we are having more requirements to graduate and the numbers of subjects we have to learn have increased. Every students- well most students want to have good grades, so when we see that we have an F, D or C as our grade we start to freak out. Some students even cry after receiving a low test score.
Relationship is another cause of stress on students. Whether it’s a boyfriends, girlfriend, family and friends, they can all put stress on you. Parents are also the cause of high school stress. We take that stress home and parent put more stress on us because they have a lot of expectations on their teens when it comes to school, but they don’t realize how school/education has change over the years. They say “get good grades so you can have a better future”. Since I was born, my parents would always compare me to my sister. So when she has good grades, I have to get good grades. They put a lot of pressure and stress on me the most. But if they didn’t put that pressure I wouldn’t have the good grades I have. This is one good effect on stress.
When high school students are stressed out we feel overwhelmed. Students who stress out may commit suicide or at least think about it. Depression and insomnia is another effect on stress. Students have a harder time concentrating in their academics, but some students have a better time concentrating. In some student stress is good for them because it motivates them to do better.
sinercely
Zhaira agrade
hopes
Dear Zhaira,
DeleteI totally agree with you on your topic about the causes and effects of stress on a high school student. I really liked how you put your own personal experiences within the essay. I enjoyed reading your essay, and it was very understandable. good job!
Sincearly,
Aaryn Gray
IDEAS
Doing Well in High School
ReplyDeleteWe are in high school for four years, which is barely a speck of time in our expected life span. I always hear in class “this is worthless” or “school is wasting my time”. But is school really worthless or a waste of time? No, what these people don't understand or grasp, is that how well we do in our four years in high school can determine how successful we are in the greatest fragment of life.
Every day in school we are pressured by our teachers, parents, and peers to get good grades. We are pressured into joining clubs and sports. Why? Getting good grades and joining extracurriculars in high school can result to scholarships and an acceptance into the college or university of your choice. Doing well in high school can make or break your future career. Most universities don't accept average or below average students, so doing well in high school is very important to somebody who wants to attend college. This is why, for me at this point in my life, getting good grades to get into a good college is my number one goal. Like a toddler taking her first step, getting my high school diploma is the first step to the rest of my life.
Having a college diploma can put you 10 steps ahead of all the people who don't. Having a college diploma is a accomplishment you will keep for the rest of your life. An accomplishment you achieved on your own without your parents and peers pressuring you. Although we spend another four years in school, it has a greater potential to pay off in the end. A person with a college education is more likely to get a job over somebody without one. This opens up doors of opportunities for ourselves. This does not mean somebody who didn't go to college is less capable, it just means maybe that college isn't for them as a personal choice. And there are always gonna be lucky individuals who get their life handed to them. But either way its always good to be prepared.
Many young people want an above average lifestyle. They want a great job, great friends, and to live happily in a place they love. Any goal you set for yourself can be traced back to how well you do in high school, your entire future can depend on this tiny speck in your life.
Sincerely,
Aaryn Gray
IDEAS
Courage, such a simple word with such a contrast meaning. To be courageous is not only good for the body and soul, but can also be beneficial to someone around you.
ReplyDeleteBeing courageous can be shown threw some of the simplest acts, and yet can create an impact by being so. An act of courage can be as simple as trying something new, getting out of your comfort zone. And can stretch to points beyond mind-full limitation such as trusting someone/something. By being courageous you are opening up doors of opportunity you wouldn’t otherwise reach.
An example of courage is something that many people try to do every day: Do something that scares you. “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear” ~ Nelson Mandela. This quote is a great example of what many people try to live their life by. And for some, that can be as small as jumping into the ocean, which some people are afraid of because they don’t want to get hurt.
Once someone takes that first step of courage, like jumping into the ocean, they begin to realize that fear is a mental thing, not a present threat. It may take a while for someone to stumble upon this realization but once they do they realize that the bumps and bruises they got by taking these risks were mostly mental, not physical.
At this point, people become addicted to the feel of the adrenaline, they want to take bigger chances and begin looking for ways to do so. After jumping into the ocean, they want to go Bungee jumping. This too scares them but what is courage without fear.
After that they want to go sky diving… the point I’m trying to make is that without that first step, there would be no new experiences, and without fear, there would be no courage. By being courageous, you aren’t afraid to take risks and to be alive.
Sincerely,
Lauren Benson
HOPES
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ReplyDelete